The Journey So Far
By Gawie Malherbe
Senior Leader, All Nations Cape Town
I was 17 years old when Jesus suddenly became so real to me. Before that, I was a church attender with my family. We were active as well. We attended church twice on Sundays and Sunday school. Dad was an elder – church was a serious part of our Afrikaner lifestyle. Yet, it never seemed to connect much with the rest of life. The rest of life was about trying to have as much fun as possible. For my shy personality that meant playing computer games, having friends, and watching movies – probably in that order. School work certainly wasn’t important to me. It wasn’t fun, so it wasn’t important. Sure, I had a few favorite subjects like history and languages, but otherwise, doing just enough to pass was what it was about.
When I met Jesus, it was like waking up for the first time. A world opened up that I never knew existed. Overnight, my priorities completely changed. It was like thinking I knew what life was about and then going through the closet into Narnia. I consumed the New Testament like it was steak dinner, sang worship songs in my room, and got involved in many cell groups. I loved the new life I received from Jesus. Many new friendships formed as I got to know others who loved Jesus too.
There was also sense of calling from God. There was such a sense of destiny! I suddenly knew what I was going to do after school. (Well not exactly, but it was something to do with serving Jesus.) This became more and more exciting. I met Floyd McClung when I was 18. I was blown away by the stories he told of serving Jesus in Amsterdam and Afghanistan. I listened to the tapes over and over. Suddenly, it was even more clear. I was going to be a missionary!
There was this one teaching of Floyd about the character of a leader. It was about the tests a leader goes through. I thought, “Man, I have a cheat sheet!” I was going to be a mature leader in no time! All I had to do was be like Joseph in the Bible and pass every character test. What could be easier? Right?
Developing my gifting followed. By the time I was 20 I was leading three cell groups, loved teaching the Word, and went on many outreaches – even to neighboring African countries. I was studying theology and loving every moment. I remember praying one night at the pool at the house where I was staying and again I had that deep sense of destiny. I felt like Abraham looking up at the stars receiving promises from God. It felt like he was saying I will reach the nations for Jesus. I prayed about Tersia and felt a sense of destiny and promise about her too. Life was going to be awesome.
At age 22 I got on a plane for Kansas City and CPx to fulfill my dream of becoming a missionary.
Let’s pause here for a minute. Remember? I said I was sure with my ‘cheat sheet’ to help me become a mature leader I was sure I could do it? Never would I have imagined just how hard it would be!
First of all, I was super lonely in Kansas City. Most of the people attending the CPx class of 2002 were married and all of them were much older than me. CPx at the time was nine months long, so it wasn’t a short time to be lonely!
Tersia and I broke up during this time even though I really felt God meant for us to be together. It was devastating.
After I went to India for the outreach part of CPx, I returned to Kansas City and had no sense of calling or direction for what the next step of becoming a career missionary would be.
I found myself back in South Africa with all the romantic ideas of becoming a missionary gone. For the next two years I tried to make it work. I went on countless outreaches (many times completely on my own!). I facilitated the outreach part of a CPx in a South African rural area only to see the team return to Kansas City. No one staying behind to join me. I got carjacked in this same region and held under gunpoint for four hours. I suffered from PTSD. It dawned on me that I was the only AN missionary in the whole of the continent of Africa. I was burning out and somewhere in the middle of 2005 I gave up on the dream that I carried in my heart for seven ears. It was the lowest point in my life.
The problem was I had no other dream. I looked for a job and took one as an English teacher with a meager salary. My faith was really struggling. Everything I hoped for came crashing down. One day, on a bed in the city of Port Elizabeth, I cried out to the Lord. ‘Father, please just love on my heart.’ He did. I felt His love wash over me like a waterfall. He was still there. I picked myself up and kept going.
Did I mention I became an English teacher? Well that’s what I was: I was an English teacher to foreign students in their early twenties who came to study in South Africa but had to learn English first. They were from many different African, European and Asian countries. I loved hanging out with them! I taught them English, befriended them, discipled them and saw a number of them meet Jesus. I thought I was walking away from my calling and here were the nations right in front of me.
Floyd connected me with Cobus and Marlize Breedt and together we started a simple church. At one point we counted over 30 people who were serious about living out their faith and making disciples.
In 2008, I moved to Cape Town to work with Floyd and Sally to build the AN Cape Town hub, and in 2009, seven years after Tersia and I broke up, we got back together and got married in 2010. After serving for a number of years together on Floyd and Sally’s leadership team, going through tests and learning many lessons, we headed for Indonesia in 2014. We spent four years there, learning language and seeing God do some amazing things.
It struck me while I was living in Indonesia: I was seeing God’s promises come true that I sensed that one night at the pool looking up at the stars. The two things I felt such destiny about — being called to the nations and getting married to Tersia — has happened. God even blessed us with a precious boy while living in Indonesia. He is so faithful! My heart was soaring and my trust in Him was never deeper.
Life wasn’t easy. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be as a 22-year-old! Do you think the Bible characters like Joseph may have had similar thoughts? Life wasn’t easy. Following His call on our lives wasn’t easy. However, God is unquestionably good!
I learned too that life wasn’t about me or my happiness. It wasn’t even about having a successful ministry. It was about God and finding ourselves and our identity in Him. It was about Him getting the glory from our lives.
In 2018 Mary and John Ho asked Tersia and I if we would consider leading the AN Cape Town hub. We felt honored and also a bit scared of the new responsibility, but we knew it was the next step in the journey…
What are the Lessons?
Principle #1 God’s promises are absolutely reliable because He is absolutely reliable.
Has the Lord given you promises? I bet he has. You can bank on them because you can bank on His character.
“Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.” (Joshua 21:45)
Principle #2 The Lord is 100 percent committed to grow our character.
Character growth is extremely important to the Lord. He needs to purify our motives and build character so we can represent him in a fallen world. Flaky character will never do for what He calls us to do.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)
Principle #3 Therefore, just like Joseph, the Lord takes us through testing to see His promises to us fulfilled.
Look at the many character studies in Scripture. Why do we think God gave us these examples? Because we won’t go through similar tests than they did? We should think again if we think that!
“We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and perseverance inherit what has been promised.” (Hebrews 6:12)
Principle #4 God doesn’t want us to go through life not understanding the process He takes us through.
We’re supposed to know how he grows character and work with Him. We don’t have to close the Bible. Aren’t you glad the tests are ‘open book’?
Principle #5 God takes us through specific tests to grow our character.
There are three parts to a test:
1. Naming it (Realizing you’re in a test and discerning what it is)
2. Responding to it (Finding out how God wants us to respond and responding the way He wants with forgiveness, trust, etc.)
3. Growing because of it
There are many different kinds of tests. It’s important that we learn what kinds of tests God takes us through and respond the way he wants in order to grow. There are tests of identity, forgiveness, perseverance, faith, humility and many more.
Principle #6 What the enemy means for evil, God means for good.
We live in a fallen world. He doesn’t cause the hardships we go through, but He uses them to build character so we will become mature and fruitful. Seeing from God’s perspective is vital for becoming mature.
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good.” (Gen 50:20)
and
“God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering.” (Gen 41:52)
Principle #7 All of this is for His glory.
It’s about God not about us. Jesus said, “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” (John 15). The purpose of all of this is for Jesus to become greater and for us to become less (John 3:30). The process described isn’t so we can be mature and be someone special as if that is an end to itself. Maturity is humility where God gets the glory because we are fully alive in Him.
Father we trust you with our lives! You make us fruitful in the land of our suffering. May our lives bring you glory.
Gawie and Tersia Malherbe lead All Nation Cape Town