The Resurrection of Joy
By Rika Boersma
Memories of standing in front of the altar, exchanging vows with the love of my life, and my joy felt complete. Holding our first born in our arms, and our joy felt complete. Going to Mozambique and holding the first abandoned baby, just like He promised in the visions He gave us, our joy felt complete. Being blessed with two more sons, and our joy felt complete. Seeing Mozambicans grasping the vision to take care of the orphaned, abandoned and neglected and making the vision their own; oh, our joy felt complete.
Until the day the word leukemia walked into our lives, joy became less, and yet, looking back, His goodness burst forth like fountains in the very hard places that we walked through. When my husband passed away in October 2017, a part of me died and joy left. In the midst of my sorrow and grief, the only thing I lived for and had faith for was to be a mom for my three boys and be able to meet their needs.
I remember clearly how I sat on the bed one day, about one year and eight months after he died, and got so upset with people lovingly advising me to accept his death now, embrace my circumstance and start moving forward. And in that moment, Jesus came and sat next to me and said this: “Yes, I can understand and agree with you, it is so unfair to expect you to embrace his death, BUT are you willing to accept and embrace your brokenness?” His loving kindness and His hand offering to help me embrace my brokenness changed things for me that day. It brought me to a place of complete surrender (with lots of tears).
The place of surrender has so many consequences: You will realize that when you trust in Him, you do not need to understand. It is when Jesus resurrects you out of that pit of grief and despair, that you realize you can dream again, that you can believe His promises and that you understand that He is not finished with you. He still has plans and a future for you. The act of embracing my brokenness, I believe, was also an act of obedience. I had to say, “Yes Lord, come and take my brokenness.” By saying yes, in obedience, the joy in yourself will be made complete.
Saying yes to embracing my brokenness was a reckless act of abandonment of the self for no other reason than a response to His overwhelming reckless love. Walking through this narrow door of embracing brokenness, everything that could not fit through this door was torn off and it felt at times as if I were dying. But the joy that comes, the peace, and the knowledge that floods your heart is because He truly loves you. He trades beauty for ashes, oil of gladness for mourning, and gives life after the grave. Now THAT is making my joy complete daily. I am so incredibly thankful that Jesus came and resurrected me and replaced joy and gave me life again. With every breath in me I will sing of His goodness.
My story for His Glory
Rika Boersma is a mother of three sons, founder and non-residential missionary at AN Mozambique. She currently serves on the Hub team at AN Cape Town
